Summarized Supports
by Inksy
Summary: This is what happens when you have writer's block and are currently procrastinating. Don't take this too seriously, it's exactly what you think: abridged versions of Support conversations within FE Awakening and Fates. Crack.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

 **This idea came to me via a challenge I imposed myself while on my way home from school: to remember what/how the units would interact with each other. Strangely, I could only really remember the romantic supports. G̶u̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶y̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶g̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶W̶a̶i̶f̶u̶ ̶E̶m̶b̶l̶e̶m̶ ̶ I think I did rather well, don't you?**

* * *

 **Corrin/Camilla**

Corrin: Hi

Camilla: I may or may not have incestuos feelings for you

Corrin: Stahp

Camilla: Let's go to a hot spring. Together.

Corrin: No, we're like brother and sister. Would be too weird.

Camilla: Then let's get married.

Corrin: No. Too weird.

Camilla: Do you think I'm hot?

Corrin: Yes. Pls marry me.

Camilla: K. We technically family now.

Corrin: Stahp.

* * *

 **Oboro/Takumi**

Oboro: Notice me senpai!

Takumi: You make nice clothes.

Oboro: Yes, I hate Nohrian scum.

Takumi: Me too.

Oboro: So then will you notice me?

Takumi: K

* * *

 **Subaki/Selena**

Selena: I have an inferiority complex. I hate you.

Subaki: Wanna have a pointless contest?

Selena: K.

Subaki: I win at everything lol git gud skrub

Selena: I cooked something out of my deep hatred for you. Baka.

Subaki: gg u win marry me?

Selena: It's not like I liked doing this...

* * *

 **Niles/Beruka**

Niles: Ay gurl, what you doin' in them slums?

Beruka: Why are you following me?

Niles: Reasons. You gonna kill someone?

Beruka: You tell me.

Niles: !

Beruka: Heh. Your tracking skills are awful.

Niles: Pls tell me.

Beruka: Issues. Lots and lots of issues.

Niles: You're not the only one with issues... You know what I'm saying?

* * *

 **Jakob/Peri**

Peri: Hey, you're a butler get me a drink.

Jakob: lolno.

Peri: Waaaaaaaah! Get me a drink!

Jakob: I only serve Corrin, get it yourself.

Peri: *sniff* I will kill everyone if you don't get me a drink!

Jakob: No you won't.

Peri: I hate you!

Jakob: But I like how you kill things. Especially bad guys.

Peri: I love you! Let's get married!

* * *

 **Gaius/Sumia**

Gaius: Must... feed... addiction... need... honey...

Sumia: Lemme help! I know all about bee larvae!

Gaius: Uh...

Sumia: Now for my first tip! Bee larvae can be found in beehives! Like this one! Here, you can have it!

Gaius: AHH! NOT THE BEES! Oh, look, honey—I mean AHHH!

~Afterward~

Sumia: Ow, I've been stung.

Gaius: D'aww, if I also weren't covered in bee stings, I'd actually care.

Sumia: I can make a cake with that honey

Gaius: Stumbles... pls marry me

* * *

 **Chrom/F!Robin**

Robin: KYAAAAAAAA!

Chrom: Stop throwing stuff at me!

* * *

 **Donnel/Tharja**

Tharja: Go get me ingredients that will aid my stalking of Robin

Donnel: YEE-HAW!

Tharja: What do you want in return?

Donnel: Nothin'

Tharja: Liar

Donnel: Well, howzabout that nice magic ya can cast on the Shepherds.

Tharja: You're asking a _Dark Mage_ to cast... "nice" magic.

Donnel: Yup!

Tharja: Fine. In fact...

*Ring appears*

B̶u̶c̶k̶e̶t̶ ̶G̶o̶d̶ Donnel: You wanna marry... me?

Tharja: More like you're my personal assistant.

Donnel: Close enough!

* * *

 **Saizo/Beruka**

 **[This conversation has been censored for your viewing pleasure, gods forbid we touch upon darker subjects.**

 **Love,**

 **Nintendo of America**

 **P.S.**

 **Feel free to buy more DLC, you know you want to...]**


	2. Chapter 2

**The not so long awaited sequel arrives!**

* * *

 **Gerome/Inigo**

 **Inigo:** Tell me your secret.

 **Gerome:** What secret?

 **Inigo:** How is every girl attracted to you?

 **Gerome:** Maybe 'cause I don't actively try to get in their pants?

 **Inigo:** What? But... but... Grils love it when I do that!

 **Gerome:** ..."Grils"?

 **Inigo:** There must be a reason. I WANT TO BE MANHANDLED!

 **Gerome:** Step one: Dress in black armor. Step two: Act aloof. Step thr—

 **Inigo:** Step four: Collect smallclothes! Imma try it!

* * *

 **Severa/Inigo**

 **Inigo:** Hey there beau— *slapped*

 **Severa:** Go away.

 **Inigo:** But I—

 **Severa:** You didn't hear me? Get. Lost.

 **Inigo:** Sheesh, tsundere much?

 **Severa:** What did you just call me!? I'm not one of those girls that easily falls in love, you know!

 **Inigo:** Ah, but the longer the chase, the better the reward!

 **Severa:** You do realize I'm gonna kill you, right?

 **Inigo:** ...Do you like this ring?

 **Severa:** Oh my gawds it's— I-I mean, I hate it! It looks so trashy!

 **Inigo:** Guess I'll give it to Robin then...

 **Severa:** No! Okay! I'll take it! I'm sorry, Inigo, I don't mean to be mean it's just that—

 **Inigo:** No, no, don't worry. (I _always_ knew you'd take it)

 **Severa:** What was that?

 **Inigo:** Nothing.

* * *

 **P̶i̶c̶k̶ ̶a̶ ̶G̶o̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶P̶r̶a̶y̶ ̶** **Frederick/** **Cordelia:**

 **Frederick:** Thanks for inviting out to a picnic, Cordelia.

 **Cordelia:** Oh Chrom... Why can't we support?

 **Frederick:** *Cough*

 **Cordelia:** Think of all the possible things we could do... *sniff*

 **Frederick:** Ahem.

 **Cordelia:** *Crying* Why Frederick why!?

 **Frederick:** Would you feel better if I were to take his place?

 **Cordelia:** But you're not Chrom...

 **Frederick:** I have more naked posters of milord.

 **Cordelia:** I accept with all my heart, Chrom!

 **Frederick:**...My name is Frederick.

* * *

 **Stahl/Olivia:**

 **Stahl:** Hi Olivia! Can you do me a favor?

 **Olivia:** AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Don't look at me! I'm too shy!

 **Stahl:** Er, fine. Here, I'll just write what I want and hand it to you.

 **Olivia:** That works, sorry Stahl I hate being shy.

 **Stahl:** Would it help if I act like Basilio?

 **Olivia:** I don't see how that—

 **Stahl:** BWAHAHA! Booze! Wenches! My big brown hairy arse!

 **Olivia:** *Laughter* That was so bad! You're terrible at impressions!

 **Stahl:** ...Close enough I guess...?

 **Olivia:** *Still laughing*

 **Stahl:** *Swaps out letter for one containing a ring*

* * *

 **Kiragi/ [Insert Mother, because let's face it, the day Intelligent Systems decides that non generic supports are better, is the day us round-eyes get our face touching back]**

 **Mother:** Kiragi, stop being retarded and learn stuff

 **Kiragi:** lol school is for nerds.

 **Mother:** ...Hmm... How do I guilt trip him into learning? Ah I know, talk to myself while making problems for him to solve...

 **Kiragi:** Noooo! My only weakness! I'm sorry.

 **Mother:** Here, how about you solve these questions now?

 **Kiragi:** Hey! This equation has something to do with bows! I love math now.

 **Mother:** See? Learning isn't bad.

* * *

 **Saizo/Kaze**

 **Kaze:** hey its me ur brother

 **Saizo:** I am out for vengeance

 **Kaze:** Against who?

 **Saizo:** The man who killed our father!

 **Kaze:** Let me join you!

 **Saizo:** Of course!

~During the battle against Kotaro~

 **Saizo and Kaze:** Hello, my name is Saizo/Kaze you killed my father. Prepare to die.

* * *

 **Setsuna/Azama**

 **Setsuna:** You have some of that "special herbs"?

 **Azama:** Sure do... How's 500 gold sound?

 **Setsuna:** 500!? You drive a harder bargain than Anna...

 **Azama:** Fine 300, but I get to smo—er, have some with you.

 **Setsuna:** Deal, but first can you untie me from this trap?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

 **Oooookay. So, I need to clear up my head, and since the Fire Emblem subreddit isn't very open to shitposts, I'll just dump** _ **these**_ **here. Oh, you know you love 'em.**

 **Yes, yes, I know most of this is just unleashing my frustrations, but oh well, don't take it too seriously. But yes, I** _ **hate nOT BEING ABLE TO HIT THE GODDAMN ARCHER WHEN I HAVE A 94% TO DO SO! CHRIST SAKES KANA! THIS IS WHY I PREFER MORGAN OVER YOU!**_

* * *

 **Robin/Lucina**

 **Robin:** Take care of yourself.

 **Lucina:** k

 **Robin:** I mean it.

 **Lucina:** Kk

 **Robin:** Marry me pls

 **Lucina:** K

* * *

 **Cynthia/Gerome**

 **Cynthia:** Hey, look! Batman!

 **Gerome:** ...Who?

 **Cynthia:** You're Batman!

 **Gerome:** No, I'm Gerome.

 **Cynthia:** No, you're Batman!

 **Gerome:** I already told you—

 **Cynthia:** I reeeeeeaaaaaaally like superheroes ;)

 **Batman rip off:** I'm Batman

* * *

 **Robin/Tiki**

 **Tiki:** Mar-Mar!

 **Awakening saved the franchise (No, I am not an FE elitist):** Wait, are you saying that as shameless pandering for the player because I act as a vessel for him/her because I am really about as interesting as dry toast?

 **Tikipedia, the encyclopedia:** Wut.

 **Robin:** Nice rack by the way.

 **Tiki:** Be honest with yourself, did you even play any of the Fire Emblem games featuring myself before Awakening?

 **Robin:** Uh... does Smash Brothers count?

* * *

 **Corrin/Niles**

 **Niles:** Lenny face

 **Corrin:** Stahp

 **Niles:** Lenny face

 **Corn on the Cob:** Pls

 **Discount pirate dude:** Lenny face

 **Why does the female version not wear pants and instead chooses to expose her panties to the whole goddamn world. Like seriously, the Smash model looks better than the one we got. Then again, have you** _ **seen**_ **the Dark Mages? Like, why? Aren't you being shot at by not only arrows but also fire and stuff?:**...

 **Niles:** I love you

 **Both:** Lenny face

* * *

 **Leo/Takumi**

 **Takumi:** You're stupid, and Nohr sucks!

 **Leon S. Kennedy:** You're a weeb, Hoshido sucks!

Hate fucking ensues.

* * *

 **Morgan/Inigo**

 **Inigo:** Hey ;)

 **Morgan:** lol this is the same trick you tried to pull off on that waitress. You suck at this.

 **Inigo Montoya:** :(

 **Morgan "Daddy's Little Girl" Insert fantasy sounding last name here:** Tell you what, buy me dinner and should you survive the castration my father will give you... maybe you get lucky.

 **Inigo:** :)

* * *

 **Owain/Lucina (Yes this is possible. I'm serious."**

 **Owain:** Imma help you name stuff

 **Lucina:** I have a non existent imagination. Also, I do not possess a sense of humor.

 **Owain Wilson:** Name this sword

 **Lurkcina:** Pointy demonspanker

 **Odin:** Good enough

 **Lucina:** Hey, I have a crush on you

 **Owain is better than Odin:** Wut

 **Azura:** Don't act as if familial relations mean anything in Fiaa Emburem

* * *

 **Nina/Niles**

 **Nina:** So Imma be the only rational person here, and properly call you out for being a shitty parent.

 **Niles:** What are you talking about?

 **Nina:** Wow. Abandoning your daughter in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber? That doesn't ring a bell?

 **Niles:** Nope, I did it because I love you.

 **This should have been looked into more:** I missed out on necessary psychological developments that only my parents could give me! What the hell is your problem!? Did you _not_ learn how to pull out?

 **Lenny face:** Can you not? Look, here's another universe where I'm married to Male Corrin

 **Yaoi fangirl:** I forgive you

* * *

 **Peri/Keaton**

 **Peri:** Sooo, like, I noticed you go out and kill stuff, and come back covered in blood. Take me with you pls.

 **Keaton:** I'll pass. Gtg.

 **Peri:** Ooohh, you gonna go out hunting again?

 **Flannel:** Yes, but only what I need.

 **Guy Pieri:** You _deliberately_ stop killing!? You absolute sociopath!

 **Keaton:** You should try it

 **Her Japanese supports are way pervier:** What, stop killing? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA...lolno

 **Michael Keaton:** Fine, here look what I found

 **Periscope:** A ring?

 **Velouria is an inferior Morgan anyway:** Wanna go out and kill stuff with me?

 **I prefer my steaks rare, please:** How about we go to MyRoom and do some... skinship?

 **I am not even joking when I say that** _ **that**_ **is what they're support is basically like. Seriously it's bad. Like, Nah/Inigo bad. And that shit is vore.**

 **Also, it's coming. Soon(tm).**


End file.
